Let Daddy be Daddy

 My beautiful boys - 12/25/14

Li Li loves to fly with Daddy<3 

Let daddy be daddy - this is something I really need to work on.  J if you're reading this, I am working on letting you do things your way without jumping in to intervene.  I love you.

That being said...

I recently sat down with some of my best girlfriends for lunch and we ended up discussing our husbands and fatherhood.  I think something a lot of first time moms struggle with is watching dad be dad - especially when it doesn't match the way mom does things.  Every parent has a different style of parenting.  Notice I said style.  There is no right or wrong when it comes to style.  It's just a different version.  I fully believe all parents need to sit down, whether is prior to baby or soon after baby, to discuss the big issues involving parenting.  You want to make sure you are on the same page for the big issues.  The last thing you want is to disagree on something in front of your child.  Jason and I have had these conversations and will continue to do so and check in with each other as Liam gets older.  

Being home with Liam for almost a month now has allowed me to develop routines and do things consistently the same way each day.  This helps me and Liam get through each day because we know what to expect.  (Liam does like to throw curve balls in now and then just to keep things interesting.)

This is why it is hard for me to watch Jason do things his way.  I literally have to sit on my hands sometimes or repeat in my head, "Stop, let him do it."  For example: feeding Li Li solids.  Jason has his own technique for spoon feeding Liam.  For whatever reason, I always want to jump in and do it my way, even though it's not that different.  Who cares if he gets food all over his face and bib?  That's what bibs are for right?  After talking with my girlfriends, I realized I was not the only one who feels like this.  They both did too!  That was reassuring:)  We all struggled with watching our husbands parent their way.  

The important thing is to realize you are feeling this way and to make an effort to let your husband be the daddy he wants to be.  They need to experiment and fail just like we do.  They also need that chance to be successful and feel like the best parent in the world.  I am really trying to do this for Jason because he is an amazing father and he loves Liam just as much as I do.  Unfortunately, he does not have the luxury of a month off like I do to spend with Li Li.  Hopefully soon he will only be working 4 days a week and will get to spend one day a week with Li Li alone while I am at work (jealous already!!).  

What throws a wrench in this whole process is when your little one goes through the "mommy only" phase...we are currently experiencing this.  Maybe it's because I have been off for awhile and Li Li and I have been spending LOTS of time together, or it's just that developmental stage he's going through.  All I do know is that Liam only wants me at times - especially at night if he wakes up and needs to be soothed back to sleep.  He just screams louder if J holds him.  It's hard to watch and I feel bad for J.  He says it doesn't bother him and he just wishes he could help me out more so I am not up all the time.  We communitcate as much as we can, because sometimes I just need five minutes to regroup, and vice versa.  As I mentioned before I hate jumping in and taking Liam from J (just because I know he will calm down if I do) so now I am going to try asking first - "Want me to take him?  You good?"  I think this will help us both.  J can have time with Liam to work on getting Liam to accept that daddy can soothe too, and I can get a break.  

Moral: Let dad be dad no matter how much it may drive you crazy!  It's better for everyone in the long run:)

We all have wonderful husbands who just do things differently.  No harm done!

I Love you babe - thank you for being the most amazing husband and father!  Li Li and I are so lucky!

xoxo,

Molly