SUMMER FUN!!

Here are some pictures from the fun we have had this summer so far...

I love being home with my little boy everyday!

Makes me realize how much I miss with him while I am at work each day!

He is so much fun!

 Walking with daddy and the dogs in his tricycle!

 Rollin' down the street...

 Walking the dogs to the park and back in the backpack!

 Mr. Mischief!

 Getting bolder with his back and forth from the couch!

 He would let me pull him around the neighborhood in this wagon all day!

 His signature duck face...

 Happy 4th!

 He loves dogs! 

 His first encounter with a balloon!

 Swinging with Grambo is his favorite!

 Nana hugs and kisses!

 Mommy bought him a new rocker:)

 He cannot get enough of the wagon!

 Bananas are messy mom...

 Daddy:)

He's so handsome:)

13.1 Miles!

 Not many people can say they have run a half marathon.  I get the pride and pleasure of saying I have.

So why did I decide to take on this challenge?

2 reasons:

For me - to get in shape and do something for myself

To be able to say I did it before my son turned one

The second reason might be a little vain and silly but for some reason I wanted to accomplish something physically challenging before Liam turned one.  You can't get much more challenging than a half marathon!  It's hard to believe that all of my training actually paid off and I was able to run the entire half marathon without stopping...save a few steps at each water station to pick up a cup!  It wasn't until after I completed the race that I heard how challenging the course was for even experienced runners.  Kind of made me feel even more awesome for running the whole way! 

Here's a little recap of how the day went...

5:30AM - jumped in the car with Sylvia (my awesome office manager at work who also loves running)

We drove to the race together and I am so glad I had her with me before the race!

Once the race started I lost her very quickly in the massive crowd of people.  That was something I was not expecting...how crowded it was!  My first mile was slower than I have ever run because I could not get a clear path.  Once people spread out I was able to find my groove and go!  Right around mile 3, I decided to pick it up and increase my pace.  I wanted to run each mile at a 10:30 pace but I definitely went up and down.  The course was pretty flat until about mile 6.5...that's when we all encountered Chalk Hill.  A twisting, turning upward climb that never seemed to end!  I told myself to keep running no matter how "slow" it felt because I knew if I walked I would have trouble picking it up to run again.  

Mile 6!  Feeling good!

My reward after climbing Chalk Hill!  Beautiful vineyards!

This is what 3,000 + people look like at the start line!

After climbing the hill, we were all rewarded with a few miles of downhill...which would wreak havoc on my knees later!  I felt really good after climbing that hill.  I picked up my pace a bit, but kept it under control because I knew I had about 6 miles to go. 

This is mile 10!  I was feeling really good and was excited to be close to the finish line!

All of my training, and reading said that the last 3 miles would be ok because you would have adrenaline to drive you home.  Umm...adrenaline left me at the start line!  I was feeling great at mile 10.  I grabbed some water and ate a few of my sports beans, and felt like I could definitely make it to the end.  

Then more hills started coming.  I remember thinking..."How is there another hill?  Why would they make a course where there are hills at mile 11 and 12?"  The final 2 miles were by far the hardest.  I was losing steam and losing my motivation.  It was that feeling of...I am so close and yet so far.  Funny how 2 miles can seem so short and so far at the same time.

I remember coming to the top of the last hill and seeing people walking down the sidewalk who had already finished and were wearing their medals and shouting..."Last hill, you can make it!"  That helped kick my butt back in gear, and I knew I wanted to finish strong.  I did not want to look like I was dying as I crossed the finish line...even if I felt like it!  As I made my way into town, the crowd increased and the cheering increased.  I got a random high five from a spectator and lots of encouragement as I got closer.  People really are great sometimes!  

Best feeling...turning that final corner and seeing the finish line!  I literally started to get choked up...I almost cried.  I am not sure why I felt so emotional.  Maybe it was knowing I had completed the goal I set and did it all on my own.  No one was out there on the course pushing me.  I only had myself to rely on to get from start to finish.  That was a pretty rewarding feeling.  Maybe it was just my body's reaction to knowing it got to rest soon!  

Second best feeling...hearing my hubby and family cheer me on as I crossed the finish line.  They surprised me with shirts that said, "Team Molly!"  So cute!  It was great to have them there for support and to watch me accomplish something I never imagined doing!

I am officially addicted to running and the feeling you get when you cross the finish line!

I am doing a 10K in July and September and I have convinced my hubby to run another half with me in September:)  We are currently training together and it's great to have a running buddy (two if you count Liam).  

I also have to say a HUGE thanks to Marisa!  She trained with me every weekend and was a great running buddy!  She did a crazy mud run with obstacles and stuff the weekend after my half marathon!  She is super woman for sure:)

So glad to be done!

Heck yay I can!

All done and so proud of myself!

What a great support system!

Love them!

Awesome shirts made by my sister:)

Liam was such a good boy!

I am crazy!  But it's a good crazy!

Can't wait for my next race!!

xoxo,

Molly

Daddy Days!

Daddy Days

Recently my husband's work schedule changed so that he now only works every other Monday.  What does this mean?  It means every other Monday Liam gets a full day with Daddy!  This is great because with this new schedule my husband does not get home until about 6:20PM every night and we start bath and bedtime routine at 6:45PM...meaning he only gets a short time with Liam each evening.  I love watching my husband and Liam interact...it can be very entertaining...and I think my hubby likes Sesame Street more than Liam!  

I am so glad my hubby is so hands on and affectionate with Liam.  He's setting a great example for Liam to follow in as he grows up.   

Helping Daddy put his carseat back together.

Motivation to crawl?

Liam LOVES Daddy days!!!

It's been a rough week...nursing...

If you follow me on Instagram, you know Liam and I take a daily selfie.  You probably noticed a lack of selfies the last few days.  Let me explain why...

I have said it before and I will say it again...nursing is the HARDEST thing I have ever done in my whole life.  Yup, labor was easier!  The issue started last Thursday night when I woke up to pump.  It took forever for my milk to letdown.  A little back story - I have been blessed with a very fast and forceful letdown.  Now this caused problems early on because Liam was drowning in my milk, but he has learned to compensate and nursing has been going great the last few months.  So when my milk refused to letdown, I started to worry.

Your letdown is a reflex, so stress and tension can cause it to seize up and slow down.  I cannot think of any stressful trigger that led to that Thursday night, but ever since then my letdown has been hit and miss.  Mostly at that 1AM hour and sadly, during my usual morning nursing session with Liam.  The following morning after that fateful Thursday night, Liam tried nursing for 40 min, and no letdown.  Then I tried pumping and it took an addition 30 min to get the milk to letdown.  Here's the weird part...my pumping session at work and nursing Liam at 4PM were no problem.  My letdown took a little longer that evening when I nursed him to sleep, but it was successful.  Over the weekend I had no problem in the morning, and the nights were ok...except Sunday night.  NO LETDOWN AT ALL!  I tried in vain for an hour and eventually gave up.  Some milk came out but not even close to the total amount I usually get.  The following morning, Liam and I had another failed nursing session, but pumping afterwards finally got it to letdown.  The worst day was Tuesday because the night before I got NO letdown again, and the following morning, nursing and pumping failed.  I had to go to work with very full, sore breasts and could not pump until 11AM.  I went from 1AM to 11AM with very little relief.  I pumped out 12 oz. at lunch at work...I was honestly expecting more.  

This morning (Wednesday) I decided to forgo trying to nurse and just pump.  I found that if Jason sits with me and talks to me, my letdown happens fairly easily.  He sat with me on Tuesday night, after I had tried for an hour again on my own.  He sat with me that morning as well.  I had a successful pumping session and then I gave Liam a bottle for the first time since he was born.  He took it from me no problem and only reached for my chest twice, but was happy to take the bottle when offered.  He drank 4 oz. with me and 1 more oz. with Jason later on.  I decided to pump for his 4PM bottle also.  This was tricky because I was home alone and had just got back from my run.  Liam was still in the stroller watching me, being a good boy.  I started pumping and decided to make silly faces at Liam hoping that would distract me...and it worked...the milk flowed no problem.  I got 6 oz. and Liam drank 5!  He had been nursing very poorly at this time anyway so I was shocked that he drank so much.  Kind of glad I gave him a bottle.  I feel like he is getting more milk now.  

Tonight what the first night I gave Liam a bottle instead of nursing him to sleep.  He chugged 6 oz. and then I offered him is paci and off to dream land he went without a fuss.  It was the most relaxing night we have had together in a few days.  No worrying about my letdown and no trying to keep him awake long enough to eat enough.  

In conclusion...I have decided that I am going to pump and bottle feed for awhile.  I might try to nurse on the weekends, but the anxiety of my letdown makes it not as enjoyable as it used to be.  

I already miss being that close to my Li Li.  There is just something about that special time while you are nursing.  But we are both more relaxed and I think he's actually eating more.  I still got my snuggles with him once he fell asleep...

I just keep telling myself he is still getting my milk, and my sanity is just as important as fulfilling his needs.  I also made it 9 months nursing, and have about 2 months of stored milk for him.  We will still make is a fully year on breastmilk only. 

So...a pumping I will go...

This is actually Liam a few weeks ago after a very good nursing session.  These are the moments I will treasure.

My 29th Birthday

Happy Birthday to Me!

I turned 29 this year...where did those years go?

I actually feel a little old...

My family threw me a little birthday BBQ and some great friends actually were able to stop by and celebrate with me!

My mom made my favorite cake and there were presents that involved cash...my favorite:)

It was a busy weekend but it was fun!

Hard to focus on the fact that it was my birthday with Liam now...I even forgot to make a wish on my birthday candles:(  Guess I just need to go buy a cupcake and blow out some more candles right?

To everyone who took the time to wish me a Happy Birthday you are awesome and I love you!

Turns out my Birthday was not listed on Facebook, so you all get bonus points for remembering on your own:)

xoxo,

Molly

Liam and I take a selfie every morning before I leave for work...here is my bday one:)

Last year vs. this year!

Last year I had just found out that Liam was Liam:)

This year I got to snuggle with my Liam:)

Valentine's Day

Valentine's Day 2014

A low key Heart Day to say the least.

Liam wore his "I Love Boobies" onesie

He high fived his dad for loving boobies;)  

He gave his daddy a card for Valentine's Day

Jason brought me flowers...which I only get if he is in trouble or if it is Valentine's Day:)

We had a glass of wine and some chocolate after Liam went to sleep.

Low key but I loved spending time with my two favorite boys:)

xoxo,

Molly

You Don't Have to Give Up Your Life for Your Baby....

I want to start this post by stating a fact...before you become a mom, you have NO idea what kind of mom you will be.  Sure, you have an idea of what motherhood will be like and what kind of mom you want to be or hope to be.  But until that little bundle of joy is placed on your chest, you do not know the extent of motherhood.  That being said - there are a million different ways to be a mom and there are a million different types of moms.  Is there a right one to be?  HECK NO!  We are all different and we are all entitled to mother our babies the way we see fit.

What's my point?  

Don't judge another mom for her choices.  Period.

A friend of mine mentioned she had been told recently that she is, "Not as much fun as she was pre-baby," and that she, "Doesn't need to give up her life for her baby."  Two things - one, her baby is two months old and two, you just don't say things like this to a new mom.  What's sad is that these things were said by a fellow mom.  It kind of shocks me because now that I am a mom, I would never judge another mom for her choices in regards to wanting to be with her baby.  If I did not have bills to pay, I would be home with my baby 24/7.  

I had no idea how much I would love my son until he was placed in my arms.  At that moment, he became my reason for living and everything revolved around him.  I am happiest when I am with him just sitting on the floor and playing.  Some might look at my life now in comparison to my life before my son, and say that I have "lost" myself.  To some extent, yes, I have.  I have lost myself in raising my son and making sure he has everything he needs and more.  I have lost myself in watching him grow and learn new things.  I have lost myself in making sure he is happy and healthy.  I have lost myself in being a mom.  How terrible of me to "lose" myself.  

My son is almost 8 months old.  I have not left him for longer than a work day, and I hate leaving him for any amount of time on the weekends.  I was exclusively nursing him prior to introducing solids, and NEWS FLASH, nursing kind of hinders a mom from going out.  It's easy for an outsider to say, "Just pump and go out."  Umm no...it does not really work like that.  You may be out having fun but your boobs will quickly remind you that you have a child to feed at home.  It's not easy for a nursing mom to just go out and forget about baby at home.  Nursing literally gives you a hormonal connection to your baby.  Something I have experienced too is a very strong desire and need to be there for my baby.  I want to be there if he needs me for any reason.  I don't want someone else taking care of him unless it is absolutely necessary (like going to work.)  From the moment he was born, an overwhelming feeling took over my life - TAKE CARE OF HIM.  It is what drives me from day to day.  

Now on the flip side...moms who need to get away and have "Me Time" on a regular basis are NOT BAD MOMS!  We are all just different.  We all have different needs.  

I feel that you need to do what makes you happy, because being happy makes you a good mom.  If "Me Time" makes you a happy mom, do it.  If staying home and snuggling with your baby makes you a happy mom, do it.  But don't tell someone they are wrong for doing either or.  Like the old saying goes, "Walk a mile in my shoes."  You do not know what someone else is going through, so don't judge or make a negative comment.  People have no idea the power of a negative comment - especially when it comes to being a mom or what kind of mom you are.  New moms are constantly battling self-doubt and the feeling of, "Am I doing anything right?  Am I setting my child up for future failure? etc."  Don't make them feel guilty for staying home with their baby and don't make them feel guilty for going out for some "me time" either.  

8 months in I am just starting to do small things for me again...like training for a 1/2 marathon in May.  That was a big step for me because it means taking time away from Liam to train.  But I am doing it for me.  It took me 8 months to decide that.  

To all my new mommies...HUGS!

You're doing a great job!

Keep doing what makes you happy!

You are not crazy!

You're not setting your little one up for failure!

You are a good mom:)

xoxo,

Molly

Of course I want to spend every waking moment with him...look at that face!!

Frustrated

I apologize if this is too much of a rant or offends someone but I gotta get it out!  

Sometimes being a mommy is so frustrating and it feels like no one gets it.  This morning is case in point...

Liam woke up at 5AM...an hour early.  But he was calm and just talking to himself so I left him alone and he fell back to sleep eventually.  I got him up a little later since he was up early and nursed him right away...instead of our usual lotion and new clothes routine.  He was not interested in nursing at all.  He did for two min and then just wanted to talk and play.  Anyone who is nursing or has nursed knows that very full feeling in the morning so I was kind of desperate for him to nurse.  But nope...

Now I know my son is not going to be hurt by missing a meal but I still worry about his hydration.  He needs my milk for that.  There is just this overwhelming sense of urgency to make sure your child eats as a mom.  When they don't you kind of freak out.  He's on solids now yes but milk is still his main source of nutrition.  Or should be:/. 

I'm mad at myself for getting frustrated with Liam cause it's not his fault he's not hungry:/. I had to have hubby take him for a few minutes.  

At 7:30AM I got him to nurse for about 5 min.  But that's it!  I didn't want to pump cause my milk is already out of control so I hand expressed as much as I could to take some pressure off.  I have him his oatmeal and pears at 8:15AM and he ate about half of it.  Now he's down for his normal nap.  I hope he wants to nurse later:/

I just feel like no one gets my frustration.  Telling me not to worry does not help...my boobs are hurting hello?!?!   Lucky I'm off today...but we can't play this game tomorrow morning!  

Hubby was very supportive and tried to help.  He tries to understand.  He's great:)

Ok rant ended...

Have a good day mommies!!

Xoxo,

Molly 

A Half Marathon this May!

So I may be crazy but...I have decided to run a Half Marathon May 10th, 2014!!  

Maybe it was my crazy 7 month post postpartum hormones that said do it, either way, I paid so I am committed!  

I have about 14 weeks left to train and can already run 4 miles at a 10:29 pace...which is decent for now.

The trick will be getting my weekly runs in during the week with Liam in toe!  Now that we have moved his nursing time back to about 4:30PM I am hoping I can get a quick run in when I get home with him.  This means running with FULL boobs though...which if you have done it, you know what I am talking about.  Time to double up on the sports bras again...

I can get my long runs in on the weekend when hubby is home!

Hubby really scored some points this weekend when he offered to watch my friend's two kiddos while she and I went for a run (she is also training for a 10 mile mud run in May).  Her kids are 4 and 2.  Liam was napping so that helped but he still scored big points:)

So feel free to send encouraging words, tips and advice!

Also...meet me at the finish line with a cookie please:)

Here we go!!

My family of three!!

Grandma and Grandpa Time!

Our wonderful daycare provider was on the East Coast with her family this week so the grandparents got a chance to visit and spend time with Liam!

Jason's mom came up and watched him on Tuesday and Wednesday and my parents came up and watched him Thursday and Friday.

Liam is a lucky little boy for sure:)

Playing with Gradnpa

Li Li loved looking out the window!

Chewing away!

Deep conversations with Grandma!

I don't have any pics from Liam's time with Jason's mom but they had a great time!  She read him stories and sang him songs...which he enjoyed so much he fell asleep to them!  He got to sit in her lap to eat his food:)  They had a great time!

Jason and I are so lucky and thankful our parents have been so willing to help us.  Living far apart is hard and we appreciate them taking time out of their lives to spend with our little guy:)

Us Moms Need to Stick Together!!!!

2/1/14

One of the coolest things about becoming a mom was that I gained access into this really cool club - the mom's club.  It seemed like anyone who was a mom wanted to talk to me or share some insight or just offer some support.  I definitely felt like I could talk to anyone now, and I have to say it was a really great feeling.  

One of the most important things I have come to learn about being a parent is that you should not judge others for their parenting choices.  Parenting is so individual and people need to do what is right for their families.  Who are we to judge someone for doing the best thing for their families?  

Recently, I was attacked by another mom on one of my "Mom's groups" on Facebook.  I posted a question about the Cry It Out Method - because I was desperate for what other moms had done for their little ones at night and I wanted to make sure I was doing it right.  This awful person decided to comment on my post saying I was a "terrible mom and extremely selfish for ignoring my child's needs and wants." I was so taken aback by this awful person and her comments because I had no experienced such disrespect from another mom in my 7 months of mommyhood.  I thought all of us moms were supposed to stick together and support one another because being a mom is quite possibly one of the hardest things to do.  I was already feeling tremendously guilty for letting Liam cry - so she only made me feel worse and question what I was doing.  I have since left this group because I do not want to be apart of any group that has members like that.  Women who think they can pass such harsh judgement on someone based on one question.  People like that make me sick and I feel sorry for them for being such closed-minded people.  I may not agree with the way every other mom out their parents their children, but it is not my place to judge them, let alone tell them they are awful, selfish moms.  As a teacher, I know what it is like to see bad parenting, or neglectful parenting - but I still don't draw conclusions on parents until I have lots of facts and information to support my findings.  

I am sad that I do not have this group to turn to for support anymore.  I used them frequently to ask questions or share successes.  Hopefully I will find another one.

I urge my fellow mommies and readers to be open minded and try to see where other moms are coming from.  Especially working mommies - we need support and we need our sleep so we can function.  Telling a working mom she is selfish and an awful mom is probably the worst thing you can say to her.  She already feels terrible leaving her precious baby in someone else's care all day.  Even though Liam is in the BEST daycare I could possibly hope for.  We all make the choices we feel are the best for OUR families.  Offer advice, and offer support, but DO NOT pass judgement one someone unless you have walked a mile in their shoes.  Cliche I know, but oh so true!  

xoxo,

Molly