14 months
420 days (give or take)
10,080 hours
604,800 minutes
36,288,000 seconds
The amount of time I spent nursing/pumping for my little Levi ❤
My last bag of stored breastmilk:(
It is a bittersweet feeling knowing that I am closing a chapter in my life that will not be reopened. Levi is our last little one and I will not get to nurse another baby. Writing those words really makes it real and official. It's weird how when you are "in the trenches" of what ever phase you are going through, the only thing you can see and focus on, is the end. At times, this has made me miss out on the current and present moments. I am always so goal oriented with the end result in sight that I miss what is right in front of me. It is only after the fact that I realize what I missed.
Like right now, I am kicking myself for not relishing that last nursing session. To be truthful, I was not sure it would be our last time. J and I went away for two nights (Levi was only nursing at night and in the morning anyway), and the little guy didn't even try when I got back. Kind of cold turkey for both of us I guess. While I still get plenty of snuggles, there is nothing like that quiet time in the morning when it is just the two of you awake, and sharing that special bond. I will most definitely miss those moments.
Now, do I miss that damn pump....NO! Thank goodness it served me so well this go around, but goodness I do not miss that! I actually have time at work now....and am not attached to the wall at every recess and lunch! It's nice not having to carry so many things to work each day well. Looked like I was moving in most days. Thankful beyond words that I was able to provide for my little guy while I was gone.
Something that really surprised me was how many people kept asking "how much longer I was going to keep nursing Levi," or "When I planned to stop?" It was odd. Like he turned one and all of a sudden it was time to cut the chord. Even his pediatrician, whom I love, put a lot of pressure on me to stop nursing him. The only reason I could think of was because he is....how you say....chunky. But still...isn't breastmilk liquid gold? Shouldn't I give it as long as I can? The "norm" around the world is 2+ years. I just felt like I was doing something "wrong" once he was past 12 months. My own general practitioner put the most pressure on me to stop. She even wrote on some paperwork "Will stop nursing by the end of December." Kind of wish we had gone longer just to spite her. It just did not make sense to me all the pressure to stop. It's not like he would start magically sleeping all night. His sleeping habits are another post entirely though...
So today, January 22nd, 2017, Levi gets his last dose of precious liquid gold.
I am having a hard time pouring these last few ounces into his sippy cup.
Once I do, it's all gone.
I am no longer providing his nourishment.
I am no longer in control of that.
He is growing up, so fast.
Like closing your favorite book and being glad it's over but sad there are no more pages to turn.
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
- Dr. Seuss
xoxo,
Molly
It is a bittersweet feeling knowing that I am closing a chapter in my life that will not be reopened. Levi is our last little one and I will not get to nurse another baby. Writing those words really makes it real and official. It's weird how when you are "in the trenches" of what ever phase you are going through, the only thing you can see and focus on, is the end. At times, this has made me miss out on the current and present moments. I am always so goal oriented with the end result in sight that I miss what is right in front of me. It is only after the fact that I realize what I missed.
Like right now, I am kicking myself for not relishing that last nursing session. To be truthful, I was not sure it would be our last time. J and I went away for two nights (Levi was only nursing at night and in the morning anyway), and the little guy didn't even try when I got back. Kind of cold turkey for both of us I guess. While I still get plenty of snuggles, there is nothing like that quiet time in the morning when it is just the two of you awake, and sharing that special bond. I will most definitely miss those moments.
Now, do I miss that damn pump....NO! Thank goodness it served me so well this go around, but goodness I do not miss that! I actually have time at work now....and am not attached to the wall at every recess and lunch! It's nice not having to carry so many things to work each day well. Looked like I was moving in most days. Thankful beyond words that I was able to provide for my little guy while I was gone.
Something that really surprised me was how many people kept asking "how much longer I was going to keep nursing Levi," or "When I planned to stop?" It was odd. Like he turned one and all of a sudden it was time to cut the chord. Even his pediatrician, whom I love, put a lot of pressure on me to stop nursing him. The only reason I could think of was because he is....how you say....chunky. But still...isn't breastmilk liquid gold? Shouldn't I give it as long as I can? The "norm" around the world is 2+ years. I just felt like I was doing something "wrong" once he was past 12 months. My own general practitioner put the most pressure on me to stop. She even wrote on some paperwork "Will stop nursing by the end of December." Kind of wish we had gone longer just to spite her. It just did not make sense to me all the pressure to stop. It's not like he would start magically sleeping all night. His sleeping habits are another post entirely though...
So today, January 22nd, 2017, Levi gets his last dose of precious liquid gold.
I am having a hard time pouring these last few ounces into his sippy cup.
Once I do, it's all gone.
I am no longer providing his nourishment.
I am no longer in control of that.
He is growing up, so fast.
Like closing your favorite book and being glad it's over but sad there are no more pages to turn.
"Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened."
- Dr. Seuss
xoxo,
Molly
